Getting Ready for a Good Start to 2011

The holidays are upon us. I love this time of year. The hustle and bustle of people out getting last minute gifts. The smell of baked goods and open fires. The sounds of bells and Christmas music. Driving past the lights on houses. The Christmas tree lit up in a room of darkness. Family. Holiday gatherings with good friends. Giving to those you love. And even believing in Santa :)

I love Christmas. I started a new tradition this year of buying ornaments that mean something every year. I used to go out and buy generic ornaments to put on the tree...and as I was decorating this year, I couldn't get into it. My ornaments are packed away in some box in the storage unit so I used my mom's ornaments to decorate the tree. I missed that feeling of unwrapping an ornament full of meaning....so I went looking for the perfect 2010 ornament. I found it at Hallmark. It's an envelope, that opens up and has little cards on it for "Blessings, Wishes, and Hopes." I thought it was perfect for this year. Demetri, Nikki, and I make up our small, teenie, tiny family. It's our first Christmas together...without Scott. It's been a rough road at times, but I am ready to start looking forward instead of wishing I could have changed the past. I know everytime I unwrap that 2010 ornament, it will give me a sense of renewal and peace.

I just landed a job in the DC area. I am so thrilled to finally claim some independence. It will be sad to leave my family behind...but I know they will visit as often as I visit them. It's only 4 hours from Raleigh. Demetri and I definitely have some changes that lie ahead of us, but he and I have gotten through so much together already. I know we will remain strong. He will be going to a daycare...after having mama at home with him for 17 months of his life. I think it will be more of an adjustment for me than it is for him. I start the new job January 3rd as an Instructional Designer. I also reclaim my maiden name on December 30th.

It's sad looking back at how we came to this point in our lives and although a part of me feels like I have failed in my life, changing my last name and getting this job 4 days afterward feels like this is a sign from up above that it is time to look forward. It is time for me to let go of the past and the things I cannot change...and live my life.

May your days be merry and bright and May all your Christmases be white. Happy Holidays to you and yours.